Bob Newhart
I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much.Collection: Marriage
I think there's a little confusion between humor and 'gross' passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable, because they aren't the same thing.Collection: Humor
People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail.Collection: Humor
Humor's a weapon if you want to make it one.Collection: Humor
Humor is so important to the American scene throughout history.Collection: Humor
I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable.Collection: Humor
I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though you're poking fun at someone or something, there's still an affection for it.Collection: Humor
The schizophrenic has no sense of humor. His world is a constantly daunting, unfriendly place.Collection: Humor
I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.Collection: Music
Richard Pryor introduced me to the world of the inner city, and the urban world, and did it hysterically. My favorite comedian, even though we work 180 degrees differently, but funny is funny is funny.Collection: Funny
What you see on stage is pretty much the way I am... a dry sense of humor.Collection: Humor
You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.Collection: Funny
I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage.Collection: Marriage
I love portraying the totally indifferent person.
You do a clean show and it's over and the audience have enjoyed themselves and you've enjoyed yourself, and you haven't had to resort to shock.
There are some actresses that can't do comedy; it's too heavy-handed.
I don't have a stack of scripts that, when I get home, studios are clamoring, saying, 'Has Bob read ours yet?'
I have no intention of retiring; I can't imagine not doing stand-up. That's where I started and where I'll be.
I have to warn you, I'm not just some sitcom guy. I'm now an author.
It's kind of hard coming from 'Saturday Night Live,' which is a sketch-driven show, to a movie.
I don't know how to do a show not in front of a live audience.
I think the thing about it is when you grow up in Chicago there's such a thing as putting on airs, you know? And you just learn not to put on airs. Don't act like, 'Oh boy, I'm somebody.' They'll slap you down.
I didn't know I was cool, but I was very flattered that some of the younger comedy writers came up to talk to me at the Emmys. I found that gratifying.
I don't want to sound like the old guy, but cynicism is a potential danger. It colors our way of looking at the world.
There is an edginess in my work that people don't always recognize.
Stand-up is different from television. In stand-up, you've got to be in control.
I made a record album in 1960 and it exploded, and I got all these offers for TV.
Chuck Lorre and I had been talking about doing one of his shows for a while. I said I'd like to do 'The Big Bang Theory,' because I think it's the best written, most intelligent show on television.
You're not dead at 85. You're a long way from it. Go out and enjoy. You've earned it.
I certainly don't delude myself that there aren't certainly more important things to do in life than make people laugh, but I can't imagine anything that would bring me more joy.
Don't live in the past. There's no point. You can't change anything. What a waste of time.
I've had time off, and it drove me nuts. I was crawling up the wall.
I just made the decision that I was going to try comedy, and if didn't work, then I knew it didn't work. Then I would go back and do whatever. But at least I wouldn't torture myself the rest of my life, wondering whatever would have happened.
For a comedian, there is nothing better than watching another great comedian.
With the stand-up comic on TV, whether it's Seinfeld or Cosby or Roseanne, more important than their knowledge of how to tell a joke is their knowledge of themselves, or the persona they've created as themselves. So that when you're in a room with writers, you can say, 'Guys, that's a funny line, but I wouldn't say it.'
A lot of money is spent trying to keep people alive who don't necessarily want to be alive.
When I was off TV, people would ask me to please come back, which I think was their way of saying, 'There's nothing out there for us.'
I just don't think most people put myself and Robert Frost in the same category.
The highest of highs is to have a new routine that you're just breaking in and that's working, and that's - you're one step removed doing a situation comedy because you have a live audience there.
Mark Twain gave us an insight into the life on the Mississippi at the turn of the century.
I would say I came from upper middle class family.
I always hated when the studios just kind of said that anybody can act. You look at people like Spencer Tracy, Henry Fonda - and I'm just talking about the male actors - there aren't a lot who can act. It's a very special talent, and I wish it were recognized as a very special talent.
People are meant to be certain places, and I think I'm meant to be on a sound stage doing situation comedy.
'The Mary Tyler Moore Show' was the best television, the best cast, the best-written television show ever.
I left 'The Bob Newhart Show,' which was my decision. CBS wanted it to go on. But I could see television changing; I could see the tastes were changing.
I found the most difficult thing when you became successful - when I had the record album, it won Album of the Year - that you were cut off from the source of your material. Your material was everyday people, and you were kind of cut off from that, and you had to work at it.
Dick Martin, if you put a gun to his forehead, he couldn't tell you a joke.
I can't do a one-camera show. I don't know how to do that kind of show where you count in your head and then you do the next line.
I was an accountant in Chicago, and a friend of mine, Ed Gallagher, was in advertising. At 4:30 every day I'd be bored, and I would call him. He'd interview me.
I loved 'Everybody Loves Raymond' because I like Ray and I thought it was beautifully cast, I thought it was great writing. I thought Patricia Heaton was wonderful.